Suddenly I think I always knew I had my share of mistakes...
Made quite a few...Finally I know and that's for sure
I don't look back in anger anymore....
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!”
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely……
ARE - MY - TEST - RESULTS - BACK? (tis is what he really mean)
================================================================= Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, "Can't find printer." I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.
Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "" to bring up the Program Manager.
tips ::how to make a woman happy and a man happy ::
TO MAKE A WOMEN HAPPY....A MAN ONLY NEEDS TO BE :
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO :
44. give her compliments regularly 45. love shopping 46. be honest 47. be very rich 48. not stress her out 49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME,YOU MUST ALSO :
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT :
53. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes
Exams: Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS; 1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL! ============================================================= Liar: A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of AIDS?” Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom ============================================================= Delivered: Stupid Sunny sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, “DELIVERED”. =============================================================Three Feelings: What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant Panic is when both are pregnant. ============================================================= The Equation: 7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage - And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
So, I don't need all those.......all I need is more credit for more access..........
Menangani Sifat Marah oleh Datuk Dr.Fadzilah Kamsah
Yeaa...post kali ini pula khas untuk Cik Wanie kita yang telah merequest tajuk seperti di atas. Ceramah atau tips tersebut berlangsung selama 58 minit ini sangat menarik untuk dijadikan panduan dalam kehidupan seharian kita.
Dari tips yang disampaikan tersebut, penulis baru mengetahui bahawa sifat marah seseorang itu berlangsung hanyalah selama 4 minit, yang selebihnya adalah EMOSI. Nak tahu lebih lanjut lagi silalah mendownload. Penulis di sini sekadar mahu berkongsi idea dan bahan ilmiah yang difikirkan berguna.
Yeaa...post kali ini ditujukan khas kepada kawan-kawan seperjuangan, terutama kepada Tokapi yang sudah berkerjaya dan sedang mencari-cari. Tak dilupakan juga kepada Wanie, Jep, Nazri dan Shahril serta beberapa lagi kawan2 yang sedang memburu cinta atau sedang dilamun cinta atau sewaktu dengannya. Hahahahahaahahahaaaaa
Petua ini juga bukan sahaja untuk para remaja yang sedang memburu atau sedang bercinta, tetapi juga sesuai untuk suami isteri bagi mengharmonikan lagi rumahtangga yang dibina. Heheehee...
Siri Petua Jatuh Cinta ini mempunyai sehingga 10 siri disampaikan oleh penceramah dan kaunselor terkenal negara iaitu Datuk Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah. Oleh itu marilah kita sama-sama mengambil tips2 tersebut untuk diamalkan. Penulis di sini sekadar mahu berkongsi benda yang yang difikirkan baik.
Here's an example of absolute brilliance.... An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements: 1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery
The prize-winner wrote:
"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is."
Kenapa Laki Mempunyai Kawan Yg Lg Bagus Dr Pompuan
Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The husband called his wife's ten best friends. None of them had seen her or knew what he was talking about.
Men's Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife tha the had slept over at a friend's house. The wife called her husband's 10best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half anhour. If she is telling you only 5 more minutes of television, shemeans it.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This meanssomething, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin withnothing usually end in "Fine". (See defintion #1).
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission - Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbalstatement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks youare an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here andarguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning ofnothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements awomen can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think longand hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do severaltimes, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a manasking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response. (Refer to definition#3.)
