Suddenly I think I always knew I had my share of mistakes...
Made quite a few...Finally I know and that's for sure
I don't look back in anger anymore....

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Jokes for this week

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and the Mattress

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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever !!!"

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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
B'coz people started licking the wrong side.

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Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yrs??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: What yrs look like?
2nd: She is 5"7", 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt yrs?
1st: Forget mine. Let's find yrs!!

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Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, im confident. yr friend is also my son, that's
confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
=Daughter (Excitedly) : Sure mom, ask me whatever you'd like to know.

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You're not sure of:

THE DOCTOR because he says, "Take off your clothes."

THE DENTIST because he says, "Open wide."

THE HAIRDRESSER because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"

THE MILKMAN because he says, "Do you want it in the front or the back?"

THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it."

THE STOCK BROKER because he says, "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again."

THE BANKER because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."

THE HUNTER because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

THE BELL ATLANTIC GUY because he says, "Would you like it on the table or against the wall?"

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posted by Farhan @ 1:38 AM

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